Friday, November 1, 2013
The most amazing thing happened today. I was feeling grumpy - frustrated with people in my life and focusing on the negative. I decided I'd better do something about that grumpy feeling so I turned on Pandora to the "church" station. I was in the kitchen, chopping up potatoes and you and your little sisters were playing in the bedroom - shouting and running and throwing little bouncy balls against the bedroom wall and then trying to dodge them when they came back at you. It has been a very normal Friday morning.
A song came on, "Be Still My Soul" and I was thrown back in time to when it was sung at your Daddy's missionary farewell meeting. I was particularly struck by the words and having some pretty significant inspiration both for my life and my current calling. I was so engrossed in my thoughts and feelings that I didn't notice the change in volume.
I went into the living room to see who sang the particular arrangement I was hearing and saw you out of the corner of my eye - sitting quietly with your arms folded on the couch. I must have given you a questioning look because you smiled at me (not your devilish smile, but your tender one) and said, "I just wanted to sit and listen to this important song".
I hadn't told you it was important. I hadn't said a thing and wasn't even in the same room as you, but the Spirit that was teaching me, was also touching you. I was so proud of you and so thankful that you can recognize that precious feeling already.
I remembered another experience like this one when I was carrying you. Your pregnancy was such a joyful one for me. One day the bigger kids were sitting on me and rubbing my belly and talking to you and one of them (maybe Kabe?) said, "You're gonna be such a good singer". It struck me as so odd, so unlike something they would have normally said. They all agreed. I asked how they knew you would be a good singer and they didn't know why, just that you would be.
I'm not sure why that came to my mind today - except as a testimony that our daily struggles, our mortal worries are so vastly insignificant.
I have so many friends now who have decided that this life is "it", that there is no Heavenly Father who sent us and who is anxiously waiting our return home. Brigham - I know that this is not true! I know that we are Spirits that have lived and have loved for much longer than this life. I know that when we die our lives will continue in most miraculous ways and that if we do our best, they will continue together.
I am so thankful I get to be your Mom on earth and that we can be together even beyond. I'm so thankful that you are blessed to feel the Spirit - that some part of my wild rambunctious, rowdy boy recognizes the wonderful quiet peace and comfort that only comes in and through our Savior and His messenger, the Holy Ghost.
So many have forgotten. I pray every day that you will never forget.
I love you